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Poké-update: 2012 FireRed Run

Whoa, whoa, hold up. That bitch said what?

After flying through the wonderful HeartGold version in 2010, and blasting my way through the completely fantastic, albeit  slightly confusing Black version in 2011, another Pokémon season has opened and I am fresh out the gates. Here I will account my newest run through the glorious FireRed version, let you know how things are going in Kanto, and lay my team before you, all in the name of strategy and the inability to be mature in any possible way. View full article »


A Poem by Nathan Field

Here we have a fantastic poem written by one of our good friends, Nathan Field. Enjoy View full article »

7 Albums That Will Melt Off Your Dick


#3 on Rolling Stone's 100 best albums of the century


Most people like music better than noise and certainly more than a commotion. And don’t get me started on cacophonies. But we can agree that music is the sound most people find mostly pleasing most of the time. Now, some music is better than others, and some is not. But I happen to like the music that is better. And here, today, for you and your families, I have compiled a list of my 6 favorite albums, in no specific order. So open those cochleas and prep those eustachian tubes for some mostly good music! View full article »

Holy Shit It’s Football Season! Your Week 1 NFL Preview

Hey, look who’s back!  Wow I can almost see all 3-4 of you right now.  I’m sure the last 5 months have been the worst of your life considering this blog took a bit of a hiatus after we received word of blowing too many faces off.  Sorry about that.  But we are back and as mediocre as ever! Each week your ever loving FullerTron (3rd person FTW) will take you on a guided tour of what to expect in the excitement that is the NFL.  What’s that you say?  Why would you take anyone’s sports opinion who predicted 60 steals for Julio Borbon, said neither Colby Lewis nor CJ Wilson should be in the starting rotation coming out of spring training, and claimed that the Seattle Mariners would be the team to beat in the AL West?  Fuck you, that’s why.  Let’s get this started.

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Goodnight, Moon

TinTin takes you on another journey through the world of human accomplishments. This week, we venture down the aisles of Sack-N-Save, behind the pink and white frosted cookies, next to the unrecognizable spanish candy, and on top of the store-brand “swiss-rolez” to discover the joys and benfits of unmarked, spoiled Oreos. View full article »

This Week In Hatred: Boston Red Sox

Everyone has their own little pet peeve.  Some people may hate the sound of smacking gum.  Others may not be able to stand being around a mess.  Now I think I am a pretty normal guy, but things about this world really get under my skin sometimes.  This column will serve as my outlet to air out all the little idiosyncrasies that drive me up a fucking wall.  So welcome to This Week In Hatred, this week I will be discussing the Boston Red Sox.

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Today in the Unsurprising

Somedays exciting things happen.  Other days, not so much.  Here FullerTron will make remarks about the unremarkable and daily thoughts. View full article »

Have Yourself A Laugh! Daniel Tosh Edition

Sometimes people take life a little bit too seriously.  Take a deep breath and enjoy the people who get paid to make you laugh.  Wandering aimlessly into the world of stand-up can lead you down some dark Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia infested corners.  So we here at the Upitty Floor will guide you to the funny with our vast knowledge of the stand-up anyone can watch on TV or the interwebs.  Today we take a close look at one Mr. Daniel Tosh. View full article »


A Regal Clash

A Clash with Regal Beasts

The air smelled of sweet butterfly milk. It was a bright breezy day in June; the kind of day in June where the breeze bathes your skin in soft relief with an abundant feeling of calmness. The sun shone through the fissures between the branches and leaves of the surrounding trees and composed miraculous golden pools of dancing light about the forest floor. View full article »

The State of the Metroplex: Dallas Mavericks

Fullertron’s look at the present and future condition of each of the Dallas area’s 4 major sports teams along with the North Texas Men’s Basketball and Football teams.  Today he takes a look at the Dallas Mavericks. View full article »